More on your identity- Intro to what is your purpose

  • More on, “Why are you here?” Identity issues.
  • Why “How to” questions can be worthless.
  • What are poisonous questions?
  • The issue with “How do I become rich?”



More on your identity- Intro to what is your purpose

Introduction: Welcome to Finally Alive Radio. I’m your host, Gary Aris, your very own Christian counselor. Visit me at

Purpose and Identity: I want to ask you today this question. What is your purpose? And we can’t find out what your purpose is unless we know why you’re here, and I think the why questions are the most powerful. Those are what help you find your identity.

The Significance of “Why” Questions: I said this before; I think the how questions are the worthless questions unless we ask the why questions first. We live in a generation that is all about how. How do I become fill in the blank? Again, how questions are worthless unless we know the why.

Finding Direction in “Why”: Why already starts you off with the direction. Why am I here? If I can get that question answered, it gives me a straight shot, a direction in which I need to go because the how question has many directions. How do I become rich, and how do I become the best husband?

Challenging the Notion of Universal Happiness: I’ll keep pushing this idea, how do I make everyone happy? That is a poisonous question because that’s an impossible question. You can’t make everyone happy, and that’s okay. I’ll get biblical on you here. Jesus, did he make everybody happy? No, he didn’t.

The Pitfalls of “How-To” Questions: Another poisonous how-to question would be how do I stop worrying forever? That how-to question is poison because it’s assuming there’s such a place, a utopia where worry doesn’t exist. Be aware of that. That itself can make you ill. It can make you feel sick, and I’ve seen it in the sessions.

Accepting Life’s Challenges: The question is not how do I stop problems from happening because, guess what, my friend, as long as we live on this earth here together, you’re going to have tons of problems; that’s just the way it is and it’s not because of you necessarily. It’s because we live on a broken world.

Answering the “Why Am I Here” Question: After the why question of why am I here, then we must answer if I know why I’m here, what is my purpose. I want to keep pushing the how-to questions or how do I questions. For the sake of argument because I want you to see the logic behind it, so let’s take a common one that I would say most people have thought of or at least wanted sometime in their life.

Reevaluating the Desire for Wealth: The question is how do I become rich? Who doesn’t want to become rich? I think we all struggle with that one. But notice it starts with a how do I become rich.

Money as a False Sense of Security: The person who has that answer is implying that money is security and that isn’t the case. If you do something horribly illegal, money will not protect you. So there is really no security in money.

There is no guarantee. In fact, go into any investment firm; on the paperwork, if they don’t tell you verbally, they’ll say there’s no guarantee you might lose all your money. So no as for secure that’s not going to cut it. Money is not security and, by the way, I know many people who are doing just fine financially, and they’re not necessarily rich, and they’re doing great. Life is pretty decent for them, of course, they have their ups and downs like anybody else and they feel fine.

So then that means that rich doesn’t make security happen; it’s a mindset. Again, you can do just fine being well-off simply. Being a good steward of your finances should actually suffice, and then we can I guess we can kind of push this idea a little bit further why do you need to be rich? Another answer might be so I don’t have to worry about money. I don’t want to worry about needing money. Well, that’s one of two things. You’re either very afraid, and I would ask why are you so afraid of not having money? What has happened in your life that makes you so attached to money?

What go to a third-world country a lot of those peoples are actually just fine they’re laughing they’re happy sure they don’t have all the technology that you and I have but a lot of them are doing just fine. And of course there’s always the sad story, there’s always a tragic story, I understand that, but they can find joy in things in life outside of money.

I remember going to a third world country oh about 12 years ago or 11 years ago. The kids would literally play with a peach pit and they would grab a whole a handful of peach pits and the game was odd or even. So one person would grab a handful of peach pits, peach pits, peach pits, they’re playing with peach pits a handful of peach pits and they asked the opponent odd or even and the person has to answer odd or even and then the answer let’s say they said odd and they count how many peach pitches in their hand is in that person’s hand and let’s say it was six well there you go it’s even that was the game they played this for probably twenty or thirty minutes and I was thinking to myself in America you know that I wouldn’t fly that would there’s no way that would fly but these kids were happy. They weren’t worried about money, they found joy and just simple things in life.

So be aware where did you get this fear who implanted that a second cause for the furthest worry about not having enough money later it might just be laziness. If you don’t want to work you’re sick of working I can’t blame you but is it laziness? And why I say laziness because many of these multi-billionaires quite honestly don’t even do it for the money. So it’s nice that they’re rich and all I would say right but they’re not doing it for the money they do it because that’s just what they do. They’re built that way. Bill Gates isn’t doing it for the money. He likes what he does, and really the idea is the thought in proverbs 21:5 which says the plans of the diligent leads surely to advantage but everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty.

The idea being look be a good steward if you’re a good steward you’re gonna be fine and look if you’re not making enough money then obviously find another job get some resumes out there. But no you don’t need to be rich to feel like you don’t have to worry about money. Look be wise with your investments and you’ll be okay and I would say for a lot of people they’re the true answer or the true reason why they want to be rich many people just want to live luxuriously or they just want to live a quote-unquote very comfortably. Okay look at least you’re honest good I’m glad I’m glad you think that way fine now you’re being honest all right.

Speaking of millionaires I was reading a book oh geez many years ago now I think it was called The Millionaire Next Door or something like that written by a PhD and I just thought it was interesting he actually did a study a survey on a bunch of millionaires. And he had I believe it was like seven factors of what they had in common. The first two I thought were the most interesting and guess what number one was. Millionaires they live well below their means so they’re not they’re not showing stuff off they live below their means. That is a big clue on why they’re probably millionaires and the second factor was they were good stewards of their time their energy even their funds. So it goes right back to biblical principles this isn’t about you being a millionaire.

I want you to see trying to live luxuriously is not even a Millionaire type of mindset and this is a worldly study telling us how this works. So look if you just want to be rich just for the sake of being rich to be another Kardashian then look you’re on your way down because I mean and again we can use a whole bunch of other examples Mike Tyson Nicolas Cage all of these guys were millionaires and they all lost their money. So just to live because I want to live luxurious does nothing. The chances of you losing it as quickly as you got it is very high in fact you can look up the stats of people who win the lottery. Most of the people who win the lottery lose all the money if not more money than they gained. So my friend I want you to realize that money is not everything. Sure I know we need it to live we needed to survive we need to pay for things I understand that that’s understandable but to have money for the sake of being rich what are you trying to prove.

A true millionaire according to that book isn’t looking at life that way. They just do it because perhaps they love what they do and guess what a lot of them they’re just farmers. Farmers! What’s so luxurious about being a farmer. Nothing. Look they probably love what they do good for them that’s great but biblically speaking let’s go to Ecclesiastes chapter one verse two. Ecclesiastes is written by Solomon. This man is known to be the richest man who ever lived. In chapter 1 verse 2 so literally the second line he says vanity of vanities. All is vanity. Let me remind you again the richest man who ever lived the second thing he says is vanity vanity all is vanity. What does that tell you? Living for money is really living for death. Money is an eternal all the way back to why are you here? We’ve covered this in the past episode but your why needs to be eternal. If it becomes eternal then suddenly your purpose can become eternal too and I’ll ask you an obvious question. Do you want your purpose to be finite or eternal? The answer is obvious.

In John chapter 1 verse 12 and 13 it says but as many as received him speaking of Jesus to them he gave the right to become children of God even to those who believe in his name were born not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of men but of God. And that’s such a great reminder to tell you look you’re chosen by God. You didn’t choose him he chose you and that actually puts you in a very healthy mindset and here’s the healthy mindset and hear me out which is and I’ll make the statement man is broken. Humanity is broken the world is broken. The world doesn’t want to look at life that way that man is broken. It wants to look at it as well man has issues but we can fix it. Man is plastic or the term that’s used as plasticity and no that’s not true and I just need to give you one piece of proof that man is broken. We have ancient writings you can read the Bible you can read other ancient works we still have the exact same problems. People cheat people steal people kill.

Why can’t we stop that? We in this life will never be able to stop that doesn’t matter how good the government is it doesn’t matter how good people can be at the end of the day people will be people humanity will be humanity and what is humanity? It’s broken. I don’t want to leave you with a hopeless notion. Man is broken but the rest of that statement is though man is broken we are the children of God. Though I am weak in my flesh I’m strong in spirit because I’m a child of God. Everything in your life must go back to that. No matter how bad it gets no matter how ugly life treats you you are still a child of God.

I can already hear it but if I’m a child of God why am I being treated so badly? Why are all these bad things happening to me? I can’t stand it. You’re a child of God. If a schoolmate acts mean to you is that your parents fault? No it’s not. That friend is just being mean or being a bully. If you trip and fall is that your parents fault? No it’s not. It isn’t. We need to put the blame where it belongs. It’s on me and you the blame is on me and you. We’re human are broken we need a Savior Ephesians 1 verse says he chose us in him before the foundation of the world that we would be holy and blameless before him you don’t deserve this this is a gift that you get but this is the way that God sees you this is the gift that you’ve gotten for free the gift is though you are broken you are still considered holy and blameless how can I be holy I never go to church requirement is just having faith in Christ that’s it now going to church is only going to make you smarter it’s going to help you in life it’s going to help you to deal with these very difficult questions of you know why do all these bad things happen you find your destiny when you go to church it’s difficult if not impossible to find your destiny if you don’t go to church so I urge you find the church in fact if you want you can join me in Hacienda Heights every Thursday night I’m over there we start at 7:30 I preach a message and you’re free to ask questions I’m okay with questions so feel free to bring the questions it’s called lighthouse of faith Christian Fellowship Thursday nights at 7:30 p.m. hacienda heights and go in and google that you’ll find it right away look allow this to be your foundation not how do I become rich rather stand in the truth and the truth is I’m a child of God and no matter what happens to me in life I’m going to hold on to this faith with everything that I’ve got and no matter how ugly and nasty life gets because it’s going to get if it hasn’t gotten ugly and nasty for you yet it just will that’s just the nature of life it gets ugly and it gets nasty but regardless this world is broken and I need a Savior and that Savior is Christ and why Christ because all I have to do is believe in him that’s it if I believe in him I’m a child of God I’m good I’m good with God I know that’s a that’s a difficult saying people have a difficulty understanding how is it possible that a person can be okay in the sight of God being a sinner just claiming what I believe in Jesus how does that work it goes back to the grace that we just mentioned Ephesians 1:4 he chose us in him before the foundation of the world so this has nothing to do with how much you sinned and how much bad things you’ve done if you’re chosen you’re chosen there you go I can’t change that you stand in faith because you know you know you’re chosen you know that in the heart of hearts you know right now that you’re chosen and no matter what Satan tries to tell you and the world tries to tell you oh well you see you’re going to go ahead to hell for your sins don’t play that game no if you’re chosen you’re chosen and you stand in that if sin is the issue then think of the cross that Jesus died on if you think it’s the sin in your life that isn’t going to allow you to go to heaven and then you’re basically spitting on the cross that Jesus was crucified on when he is crucified one of the main reasons is to deal with your sin and no matter how much you have sinned and trust me you will sin it’s covered that reminds me of Ephesians 2:8 and 9 says for it is by grace it’s a gift it is by grace you’re saved through faith from yourselves it’s the gift of God not by works or not by the things that you do so that no man can boast guess what if it was about what you did your works then guess what you have something to try to show off and have pride in aussi I go I go to church every week do you see this is why I am considered saved no that’s that’s a lie you’re considered saved because first he chose you second you have faith that’s it don’t let anybody else trick you into believing anything else but that wine because to say anything else can get me saved is to say that the blood of Jesus Christ was not enough think about that the blood of Jesus Christ was enough to cover all sin all the wrong things that we’ve done yeah even the one that you’re thinking of right now the oh no way there’s no possible way that Jesus or God could forgive me for this no all sin the only sin here I’ll give it to you the only sin and this is in John 16 the only sin that is unforgivable is the sin of unbelief so automatically when you believe you’re good if you stand in these truths the reason why you’re here is because God puts you here and that is your source that’s what you identify with God in Christ your purpose will begin to make room for itself we’ll cover that next time God bless you.

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