How to find your purpose

  • God knows you
  • Following your passions is the wrong path
  • Introverts vs Extroverts
  • What is your gift?
  • Don’t over complicate this!
  • Thinkers vs spontaneous
  • What about my education?
  • Leadership training?
  • Do you get vibes?

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How to find your purpose

Gary Aris: Welcome to Finally Alive radio. I am your host Gary Aris, your very own Christian Counselor. Thank you for joining us today, I appreciate that. Our question is, what your purpose?

We have answered the question why am I here? That is the foundation question to all of this. And if you can answer the question why am I here? And the answer to that of course was, I identify Christ. I am a child of God and there is no one who can take that away from me. So why are you? Because you are a child of God. Who do you identify with? You identify in Christ. His death, burial and resurrection has given you life today. And not just life in the flesh but also spiritual life, that is the rebirth. If I can identify God through Christ, now I can go into what is my purpose. So how do you find your purpose? Man I have seen and tons and tons of books and this! Perhaps I am being very cynical about this but, I have read many of the books and it takes me back to the bible. I know it sounds cliche but truly, the bible has all the answer.

If it doesn’t have an answer, it has a story, of the situation that you think you are going through. The real issue is that we have not study the bible well enough to find these answers cause it’s in there and a typical answer, I hear, is how can the bible understand me? How can it answer my questions? Me in the twenty first century, human being. Well that’s an easy answer even though you have technology–all because you have an iPhone, doesn’t mean stealing stop. All because we have computers and internet and Wi-Fi everywhere we go now, doesn’t mean you don’t lie any more. Those where the exact same issues, they dealt with back then. So all because technology has advance, humanity hasn’t. Human are still humans; people are still people! Sure we understand things better, we will learn things better, we will graph’s things better. With the bent in our nature is impossible to fix. Well education, education can help us, yeah. Sure education can help to a degree. But people will still be people, people will still be selfish. You and I, let’s be honest with each other. Could you be honest with me? As I be honest with you! Were selfish, we have our day, we have our moments.

Look, I am a parent and I have days, when I just want to sit alone and hear no noise. I am happily married but I have my days, when I don’t want to hear anything. Yeah, I am human. I have selfish moments. God knows that. He realistic. Do you think, we serve all-knowing God? Right! Do you think he doesn’t know that you have fallen, broken, you have a bent nature? Of course he knows. Of course he is God, He knows everything. Alright but any way, lets answer the question. How do you find your purpose? Or you can ask it this way, what is your gift? What are your strengths in life? What are you made for? You know why you’re here! We are identifying with Christ but what is your particular strength, that’s the question? And again I told you about the books I have read and it says you got to follow your passion. No, no don’t do that, don’t do that to yourself. Again another farce, another worldly piece of advice that does not work! It isn’t your passion that defines your strengths. I think following passions is feelings on steroids, if you ask me. Because look I could be passionate about, I don’t know, singing but I don’t think I have a good singing voice. I don’t even think I have a speaking voice, quite honestly. So this can’t be my passion, it isn’t. Look I`ll stretch the idea, I could be passionate about being a blonde but am definitely not blonde. I could be passionate about being a different race, but it’s just not going to happen. Alright, so passion is not the answer. That is not how you find your strengths or your purpose. In fact, I would say completely separate the idea of passion from purpose. So, let’s separate those two ideas.

I will ask you a few simple questions here, but you have to promise me something. Because I think this is a tough thing to do, in your mind, you would naturally try to over complicate this. I am going to ask you to do your best not to do that and as we go on, I`ll try to coach you through this over the air. So here`s my first question, what comes to you naturally? What is easy for you to do? And something that’s super easy? Now, here`s where we usually over complicate, that super easy thing to do, to you might feel likes its nothing, anybody could do it. Who cares. You may have to really think, what is it that comes to you naturally. Something that is easy for you to do. Again, it’s hard for us to notice this because we tend to down play this. I know it’s easy for me to do and anybody could probably do this and that’s not true. Some examples might be this, talking to people

Talking to people is a gift, it is. Trust me, it is! Ask any introvert. Talking to people, in fact this is where temperament could actually help us. I am actually a certified temperament councilor, so I rely on this kind of things a lot during counseling. We have differences between introvert and extrovert. I am an introvert and guess what I have difficulty in? Talking to people and you know what I have to do? I have found a way or formulas into how to talk to people because that’s not the introvert world, that’s not the way they work. So as an introvert I have had to find different ways, tactics, techniques, strategies on how I can talk to people. It sounds weird if you are an extrovert but if you are an introvert, you probably understand what am saying and how to find your own grove, your own way of doing this. But guess what, to the extrovert just talking to people, just talking to people is actually a gift. Now as for the introvert; typically, they are just thinkers. They think, and think. Sometimes they just live in their heads. They think and they over think, I am guilty of that. We analyze every little thing, every little, nook and cranny, every little corner and after we’re done analyzing. We analyze it again! We think it over again, sometimes to a fault, but that what an introvert does. Growing up I didn’t think that was a gift. I taught, that was actually some sort of my own brain. I don’t know any better I was a kid.

But I though, thinking and thinking, over thinking growing up was actually a bad thing and it isn’t. I kind of live in my head. Yeah, that wasn’t the problem. Apparently, that was who I was, I am an introvert. That’s just who I was. That’s part of my gift and you might be an introvert. A lot of people are introverts or an extrovert, either one is fine. But you see all because you think and it comes easy to you, it comes naturally to you. You might think that’s not a good thing or maybe, your just like I did, I thought, it was a deformity. That’s part of my gift, I am a thinker. What’s your gift? Are you a thinker? Are you spontaneous?  Introverts, tend not to be as spontaneous. You might be spontaneous? Guess what, there`s a gift! Spontaneity, we need that in life. How can that be used in the church? Easy. When everybody is down, that spontaneous, extrovert comes in place, comes up and cheers up the group. Ah you didn’t think that was important, did you. It’s all part of the body; it’s all part of the whole system here. We need people to cheer us up. Thinkers get very depressed; we need people to cheer us up. And notice I am not going into your education because your temperament is not something that’s taught, it just comes out naturally. You might be a person who shows up somewhere and naturally wants the help, or naturally wants to give. Good for you, there’s your gift.

Maybe you’re the type, that’s like to hang back but. tries their best to keep the peace. yeah another gift. Is that weird, the things that you naturally do; those are your gift. Those are God given abilities. So dig for this for this one, I know the temptation is to think that’s, oh that’s nothing. It’s not important but no, no it is. It really is. The things that are easy for you to do are your gifts. So think about that, and again don’t mix this in with what you learned. It’s not what you have learned, that`s your gift; it’s what comes natural to you, that`s your gift. And I see it often that, even–here`s a good example I think of often, is leadership training. Because there’s no such thing as leadership training. It’s a temperament thing. If you’re a leader, you are a leader. You are a born leader, that’s just that way. You can’t teach someone to be a leader. You can teach people skills and techniques but when the real God given gift, shows up, it doesn’t matter how much you have learned. The person who has a temperament, who is bossy, is just going to come in and thrash the place, mentally of course and just take over. So, all the techniques are going to go down the drain. So, leadership conferences and leadership training, good stuff, probably great material but again, gift.

What are your gifts?

Again some can have the gift of being a leader. That’s a good thing, we need that and I mean maybe you have seen your boss or your manager falls apart when there’s a problem. In fact, that’s the dead giveaway of a leader. A leader doesn’t fall apart under crisis, whereas person, who isn’t a natural leader, does fall apart under crisis. So again, just have to be aware of, you might be sitting under a manager or a boss who isn’t a natural leader. Maybe they just learn some great skills and it works for them and that’s fine. That’s why I say, your gifts cannot be taught, you just naturally are able to do this. I will give you another example, I have met people, who can look at you and know or have an idea of what you are thinking or they could just, and I call it a vibe. They can feel the vibe of what kind of person or even rooms and they could just walk into a room and feel the vibe of the room, and just know; oh this is probably not a good room to be in. Or no I feel peaceful, I feel good. It’s amazing but that’s a gift. It’s an ability that people will have. It’s a sensitivity and those people tend to be very sensitive to these things and that’s great. That’s ok, that’s just who they are. That’s just their gift.

So, what is your purpose?

You can find your purpose, in fact let’s read Proverbs 18:16 that says, “A man’s gift, makes room for him and brings him before great men” so here’s again another hint for you. Your gift will just make room for you. If you are a helper, guess what. For some reason you’ll be in situations where you are needed because you help or if you are charitable, guess what, people will seek you out because your just, a charitable person. Or if you are really good at giving advice, guess what for some reason, you’re the one that they call. In Romans 12:6 It talks about different gifts. I am going to read this to you! Verse six says “Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us” you notice it says grace. So, not only do we have the grace or the gifts of salvation which connects us back to God, being a child of God, he also gives us gifts that are unique to you. So, now you have the grace of being saved but also, the grace for your purpose.

It says, each of us is to exercise them accordingly and here’s the first one of prophecy, so some are good preacher, prophesy doesn’t mean someone who can tell the future. That’s not the idea of prophecy here. It’s the idea of someone who is able to preach. And then it says “according to the proportions of his faith”. Another one is, service. It says” if service, in its serving”, so some persons are good at severing, great. That’s a gift. “Or he who teaches, in his teachings”, so some are great teachers. Or so it says in verse eight, “or he who exhorts “The idea of exhorters is somebody who walks alone with. That’s a gift. Who gives, giving believe it or not, giving is gift. Some will give charitably for the purpose of being known and some will give, just for the purpose of giving and the second one is the one who has the gift there. And another one would be a leader, it says” he who leads” like we said earlier. Leading is a gift. It’s not something that’s learned. It says, the leader with diligent. He, who shows mercy. So, there are some people who are more merciful than others. Some people are just cut and dry and that’s ok and some people are a lot more merciful, they are more understanding. They are willing to hear you out, that’s a gift. Not everybody has that. So a quick rundown would be, one who preaches, one who serves, one who teaches, one who exhorts (walks alone side), one who leads, one who shows mercy. It’s very possible for you to have more than one of these, you could even have two or three of these. Not necessary all of them but just kind of reading through these, you see your gift makes room for itself.

Look, even in a work setting you can see this happen. The preacher comes and say, hey, our sales are down and here comes the teacher and does the analyses and says yes, I see the sales are down because, something has change in the market. And of course, the leader comes in and says; alright everybody, now we have to change our strategy and we are going to do X, Y, and Z. And here comes those who are, well in service and they do their service and the other ones who are good at walking alone side, will help those in the service or anybody else. Simple little image there for you, just to see that in a work environment you actual need all of these to help with the business. So, Read through those. Look through Romans 12:6-9, see if you fit in any of those. I as a temperament councilor, I actually have a questionnaire you could fill out, that will tell you what your temperament is, and it is extremely accurate you can go through it on the website: Send me a message there, and I tell you how to get that. While you are there don’t forget to subscribe to our email, we will send you the podcast, every week. So you can hear it and have it for yourself, absolutely free.

Look, it’s very important for you to know what your purpose is. If you don’t have purpose, it’s hard to have hope. So find out what your purpose is and what do you do, just look at what you do naturally. Look, Matthew 5:13-16 says “You are the salt of the earth, if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It’s no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and be tramped under people feet”. Look, be the salt of the earth, you are the salt of the earth, so be it. Be the salt by knowing what your purpose is in life, if you know your purpose in life, you are going to know your destiny. That’s the beautiful part about this. It gives you hope, it gives you direction, you will have direction for the rest of your life. It’s amazing. You living your purpose is, you being the salt of the earth. Another thought, speaking of salt. It says, if the salt has lost its taste; how is that even possible? because salt has no expiration date. Salt stays savory. Well, the idea behind what Jesus was saying here, is that back then the salt was not in cans. Back then, they were chunks of salt, and sometimes the salt may have been mixed in with other minerals. And if they were too many other minerals, then guess what?  The salt would lose its taste.

So the idea here is this, don’t get mixed in with the world. Obviously, there is aspects of the world within us, I mean we do live in this flesh. But if there is too much of the world in there, well then the salt will lose its taste. So be aware of these things, be mindful that you are no too far mixed into the world, because the world is going to lie to you. It will make you believe things that you’re not, when really you are a conquer in Christ. Remember, Matthew 6: 33 says “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you.” We go back to the why question. Seek God first, seek his kingdom. Ask the Lord, how do I fit in? where do I fit in, in life? He will answer it, but you have to seek him though and then guess what, all these things will be added to you. Let’s be honest, it doesn’t feel like there’s a benefit in seeking first the kingdom of God? Well of course, it’s not going to look like there is going to be a benefit, right off the bat. Because it is a long term goal, it’s an eternal goal. So when you are trying to seek first the kingdom God and looking for how to widen your pocket, well obviously it won’t work well for you. So, if it’s all about what you want and what you want to get. Well, it won’t work well for you! So, when you seeking God, when you are seeking his kingdom! The reward may not all be in this life. You may actually get the reward in the next life. So, when we are seeking the kingdom of God that means, we are seeking the eternal. We are seeking the long term goal, the big picture.  Keep that in mind as you seek him first. I hope this message was a blessing to you.

Please reach out to me, I want to know what you are thinking. I want to know your questions. I want to know, your comments, even criticize me. Go to and you can contact me there, send me your thoughts, and if you have questions, we will actually try and answer them on the show or reach out. I want to know you; I want to hear you. I want to know what this message is doing to and for you or people that you know. Remember to share the message, let’s get people to hear this because I don’t know if people are hearing stuff like this anymore. So until next time, my friend, God bless you.

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